I am where I am

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To Be Present

 

Water rushes over me

But I’m not here,

I’m going over my to-do list,

Thinking what I’ll eat for dinner,

When I have to leave for work tomorrow.

Be here now

A gentle reminder

To quiet the mind

And be present to the water,

The soap, the shower.

I stop,

Feel the droplets running over my skin

Little drops leaking into closed eyes

Hearing the squish of bubbles in my hair.

I’m calming, being present.

Writing a poem in my head,

Picking a book to read,

Rushing through the shower

To get back to life.

This is life

Another reminder

No matter how small

Everything I do is part of my life.

I cheat myself of minutes

If I spend time

Wishing I was doing something else.

Even if I don’t like or want to do something

It’s still part of where I am right now

So it would behoove me to

Be where I am without too much judgment.

 This may be the greatest lesson of my life

As well as the most difficult lesson.

To be where I am,

While at the same time moving forward.

One moment at a time.

 

This is not something new for me, this idea of being in the present moment. It’s something I’ve been moving towards for a long time. Something I thought I had mastered when I had Lyme disease and was bedridden for a year. But for me at least it is a lot easier to live in the present when my only responsibility is my own health. Once I was better and back to work and school, it became much more difficult to stay in the present because I had responsibilities to other people. So I went back to the beginning so to speak and am still working on being where I am. I’ve learned to take it one moment, one breath at a time. How are you living in the present?

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