A message to myself

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Can I Love All of You?

 

Can I just love you?

With all your flaws,

Perceived imperfections and shortcomings?

Can I embrace you

When you let the pain take over,

When your tears seem to never end

When you give up, and in desperation cry?

Is it possible for me to love

The things I don’t care to see,

The blemishes, the spots that

Are less than what I think as beautiful?

It’s so easy to love you when you’re flying

When joy pours off you in rivers,

When you are consciously in the flow.

That’s not always the case,

You stumble, fall

Scrape a knee or two.

You get angry and afraid,

Unmotivated and melancholy

You refuse to see how amazing you are,

But can I love you not in spite of those things

But because they are just another part of you?

I’m not sure how to do that,

How to love all that scares me in you.

I’d be willing to try,

To take that leap

To love you as a whole,

To love you spirit and soul,

But to also love your body and ego,

To love the you that soars as well as

The you that crumbles.

Because all those parts of you,

Those parts are really

Me.

 

I found myself thinking about love last night. How frequently we focus our idea of love on another person, but the person we forget about loving so often is ourselves. I think because we tend to focus on what is wrong with ourselves, at least I do and it can be difficult to love someone with so many flaws. Yet that is my greatest task to learn how to love myself, not just the parts I enjoy but all the parts.

If you could write a message to yourself what would it be?

The road

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The Road

 

The road sits before me but

I can’t see all the way.

I can tell it leads

To the mountain

Of my dreams. 

I know its there

That it only waits

For my eyes to see,

So it can show the way.

For now I can only see what’s

Right in front of me,

A small part of the road.

It’s somehow comforting

To know it will lead me home

Even though my eyes can’t

See how right now.

 

I will walk

Only on the road I see.

I won’t force the road

To come to me.

One step after another

And the road will

Unfold before

My soul.

 

When in doubt I remember I can only see what is in front of me. That the road – the path of my life is unfolding as I live it, and I can never know what’s around the corner or where life will lead. Instead I have to trust – trust in myself and trust in life and its process.

What helps you on the road of life?

Living and writing

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Living…Writing…Made Up

 

To write

Is just to live

In 3D.

Taking words,

Turning them into movements

Wearing them on your sleeve

Watching as they

Cross you in the morning

Meet you once again at bed.

The words become reality

Living breathing before you.

Could it be the other way around

To live

Is just to write

In 2D.

Taking all the movements

Off from your sleeve

Thinking and processing

The moments of the morning

And the meetings now at bed

Till they become the words

Knocking in your brain

To fall from captivity onto

Open, waiting pages.

All made out of images

Pictures in my mind

Drawn up from seeds planted

By hands I can’t see with normal eyes.

 

Writing in and of itself is a magical inspirational thing for me. When words roll around in my head begging to be written down it’s nothing less than marvelous to me. Words can have such an effect based on the way they are placed together. It never ceases to amaze me how wonderful it is to write. 

What do you think about writing?

Dreaming my world

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Dreaming Up My World

 

It’s the moments

When dreams move

Through my mind

When I feel most alive.

When life feels full of opportunities,

All feels ready.

My imagination runs

Wild with delight

Bringing images to mind

Mixing memories with imagined things

Creating futures out of stardust.

I live for the days

Where I can dwell in dreams

Floating above reality,

While the rest of the world plods along

I fly on overhead

Dreaming up a world

Made just for me

Where I can be exactly as I want.

Where I spend my days hiking

Cooking, reading, writing and dreaming.

Where I dance with others,

Carry on great conversations,

Play with children

Share love and life with young minds

Where passion rules

And love is all.

 

When I’m feeling down, or sick dreaming helps take my mind off my worries. To let my mind wander and dream up amazing and wonderful things can be extremely therapeutic. Of course there always comes a time when I have to snap out of my dream world and take up residence in the physical world around me, but with my dreams inside the physical world can be easier to handle. 

What do you dream?

Breath

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Breath

 

In, Out

In, Out

So it goes

Life and death

Pain and comfort

Sorrow and joy

In, Out

In, Out

Heaven and earth

Waves on the shore

Wind through the trees

In, Out

In, Out

A simple connection

One small rhythm in common

Keeping all things in tune

In, Out

In, Out

Slow

Steady

Essence

 

Today I just need to breathe. I need just to be, to rest and be where I am. So I’m allowing that to happen. I’m taking it easy and allowing things to be, and I’m just breathing in and out. Breath helps me remember to be present.

What helps you to be present?

Much needed rest

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Rest

 

Sometimes the body needs a rest

A moment to recoup and be cared for.

Illness sometimes is the only way

The body can get the brains attention,

Illness forces a person to slow down,

To stop for a while and take care.

While it can be frustrating, painful

Annoying even

Illness is really a body’s way

Of saying hey slow down a bit

You’re moving too fast,

Rest

Heal

Take it easy.

The body can be insistent

When we don’t listen

It will just keep getting louder.

Take that moment

Allow the body to heal and be heard.

 

Even while I’m laying in bed feeling crummy I find inspiration. Ever since I had Lyme disease a few years ago I have come to understand that when my body gets sick it’s usually a signal to me that I need to be taking better care of myself and that I need some time to rest. But it still stinks, and I still feel like crap but I’m resting and trying to take care of myself.

What do you think about when you’re sick? 

Standing in the rain

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Standing in the Rain

 

Sometimes the greatest therapy

Is to stand in the rain,

Letting nature wash off

All the crap,

Take it away to mix in with the rivers.

With bare feet,

Toes on wet grass

Sploshing through puddles.

Raindrops tickling bare spots of skin

Quickly drenching

Any clothes adding weight

While removing other baggage.

It’s a cleansing process

While at the same time

Being completely childlike and gleeful.

 

Right now I’m wishing I could stand out in the rain and let it was away how yucky I feel. I’ve got a nasty cold that’s wiping me out. Thinking about standing in the rain helps me feel slightly better, so does having my family take care of me and tea and soup and a warm blanket.

What makes you feel better when you’re sick?