More than cardboard

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More Than Cardboard

 

Twisted, mixed and turned around

I’m looking in the mirror

To see what really lies

There beyond my eyes.

I’ve become the cardboard

Cutout I place over my life,

Become the stories I create

To make sense of what I don’t understand.

Forget about accepting,

Being with what we don’t know

Exploring just for the adventure

Without needing to know.

Answers, while comforting

Remove all sense of wonder,

Maybe it’s not about the answers

It’s about the questions

How dirty I can get while

Searching in the muck

For inner light and truth.

Test out the waters

Even if their rough

To see just what it feels like

To be a part of all this stuff.

In the moments when I want to run

When the fear bubbles in my stomach

When I’d rather stuff and cover

It’s challenging to be inquisitive

And want to explore those emotions

As much as any other,

Just to see, have the experience.

I’ll have to try to keep moving forward.

 

Another technique I have found to be helpful in times when I am struggling is to investigate my troublesome emotions. Instead of getting stuck in them, to look at them as if I am an investigator trying to find out as much as possible. Get into them and really feel what it feels like to have this emotion. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. But I keep trying, and that’s what really matters!

What are some emotions you would investigate?

Made for me

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Made for Me

 

I know for sure

I was made for me

Just so I could be.

To experience the joy and fascination

That come with being alive.

To breathe deeply,

Feel as oxygen enters my body.

I wasn’t made for you,

For any one other than me.

I was made to live,

To love, to feel, to see.

To become all that I desire,

To bear witness to this earth

And all it has to share.

To take part in humanity.

I was made to learn

What it really means

To truly be me.

Who I am body, heart and soul.

To find my truth

And find it again every single day,

And to redefine it as is fitting.

 

The greatest journey is to myself. An adventure of discovery – who I really am, what my purpose is. That’s what this is all really about, figuring out who I am and what I’m meant to share with this planet. It’s scary looking into my soul to see what’s there but once I glimpse it, I am calmed and free.

What journey are you on?

What I found

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All I Found

 

I took a walk today

I’m left not knowing what to say.

 

The houses rise up from the street

I’m not sure just who I’ll meet.

 

It’s all strange and new

Being here without you.

 

I’ll look long and hard to find myself

Even if all I do is sit up on the shelf.

 

As the adventure begins

All I want is just to win.

 

I’ll run and walk to be,

All that means me.

 

In each face I view

I’ll look deep into you.

 

Remember all I’ve lost

To see all that I have found.

 

This poem is a kind of pondering on myself. It’s about the parts of myself that are lost and found, the parts I see in others. It’s about this never-ending search for myself, how I can find myself in places I may have never thought to look. I may find pieces of myself while looking into another persons eyes. I never know what I’ll find or where I’ll find it, but the important thing is to keep looking, to keep searching for me, for who I really am and what I’m all about.