About Control

 

About Control

 

To believe we are in control

Is the greatest fiction ever told.

Reaching for, attempting to hold

Clenched hands around

Control,

You’ll find yourself

Holding on to running water,

As is sifts through your hands,

Always moving, present but never contained.

 

This need to control, this desire to

Manage our lives and what happens in them

Is the greatest source of pain.

When we fail at controlling

The things that flow on around us

Which is inevitable,

Anguish and sadness wash over in waves.

 

To let go, to give in

To the flowing water

Take each day as it comes,

Is the greatest gift.

When we realize that our

Power lies in how we react,

In the personal effect, not the cause,

Solace can be found.

 

Control…an interesting concept. We can’t control everything that happens in our lives, yet we always seem to try. I know for me letting go can be a difficult thing because that means admitting and accepting I don’t know what’s going to happen and that is scary. And yet it provides me great freedom when I can.

What helps you let go of control?

Nothing is Forever

 

Nothing is Forever

 

No matter how I wish

Time will not stop

Not halt its flowing

To pacify me.

Nothing is forever

Is what it reminds me.

Just keep moving,

One foot before the other

Till one day

I’ll open my eyes and a hundred

Tomorrows will have

Turned into a hundred

Yesterdays.

Even if I stop

Keep both feet still

The earth, time

It won’t wait

Things will move around me

I’ll be a rock in the flow

Of all the rest,

Which as the water, will

Flow around, ignoring the stillness.

 Stopping leaves me far behind

Not helping, or easing pain

It just leaves me behind.

But how to move,

When moving seems so hard

So antithetical?

One foot, reminds the river,

One breath reminds time.

I take one breath

Followed by another

Then move one foot

And then the other

Then I’m breathing and walking.

Nothing is forever,

Pain and fear of now

Fade into the past.

New replaces old

New replaced with newer.

 

As spring is in bloom and the weather gets warmer I can’t help but be reminded that nothing lasts forever. That even the coldest, darkest winter will eventually turn into spring. While it can be helpful to remember that things I perceive as “bad” don’t last forever, it is also beneficial to remember that even the things I perceive as “good” also don’t last forever. That everything changes and cycles back around. The most important aspect to learn is letting go and not attaching.

What reminds you that nothing lasts forever?

No Drama

 

No Drama

 

There’s no drama

There’s no fuss

It is what it is,

It will be what it will be.

It’s easy and comfortable

Just to be,

Nothing forced

Nothing pushed.

To be where we are

To see where we go

Without attachment

Or expectation.

To be as we are

Is lovely and warms my heart.

I treasure the moments

We have in their simplicity.

I hope for many more.

 

Sometimes I just enjoy a drama free day. One where things are as they are, and I can let go of everything else. I love those days when I can sink into the wonder of life as it is. I find the best way for me to have a drama free day is to spend it in nature! 

When are you able to have a drama free day?

 

Where I am

 

Where I Am

 

“Be where you are”

Those four words

Echo through my head

Over and over.

Apparently I need to work on

Being present.

Who, what, when, where

I’m always

Thinking and going over

What’s coming next.

Who I need to see,

When I need to be there,

Where I need to go,

What I need to be doing.

Then once the work day is done

All those ‘needs’ get replaces by ‘wants.’

The mind likes to chatter

Likes to obsess and worry.

The mind doesn’t like

The present,

The present is peaceful

The present is quiet, calm.

The present involves surrender,

Letting go.

All of which frighten the mind.

But if I live my life always looking to

Tomorrow I’ll miss out on today.

“Be where you are”

Truer words haven’t been written.

I am wherever I am.

So it works against me to

Focus too much energy on what’s next

Or what’s already been.

 

Over and over – again and again I am reminded to  be here – be present. It’s all about acceptance and letting go of all I thought would be, of all I want to be and releasing into what is. Not always an easy thing when you wish things were different. Plus I always walk a fine line between being completely in the present while also remaining aware of the future and planning for it.

When do you find it easiest to remain in the present?

Let go into joy

 

Let go into joy

 

The time filled with joy

Is one to behold

To laugh with and love

With all your might.

It’s a grand experience

To feel joy bubble up from inside

To feel such freedom and

Feel so full of light

That spinning round and round

Barefoot in the grass is the

Only proper way

To express this outpouring

Of joyful emotion.

The gratitude at finally letting go

Of all the should haves and

Have to’s

To bask in the glory

Of pure glee.

Finding moments of joy

Throughout the day,

Allowing them to fill you

Completely,

Shifts your whole perspective,

Changes your world.

The things that you didn’t enjoy

That you spent so much time

Wishing away

Suddenly don’t seem nearly as bad.

They just become part of the fabric

Part of life, bearable for now

While you work on the changes.

You’ll feel so free,

A bird on the wind,

Supported and lose.

To let go into joy

Will change your life.

 

Just reminding myself about joy – what it feels like and how much good it can do! Also reminding myself to let go.

What brings you joy?

Breaking down

Breaking Down

 

Footsteps crunching along gravel roads

Pushing further, moving faster.

Everything is breaking down,

It’s all trying to get away,

All the stuff weighing me.

Hopes, dreams, beliefs

Thoughts,

Crumble and fall.

A trail of crumbs behind me

Leaves a path,

While my foundation

Breaks down, as

I scramble for sure footing,

Jumping and hoping

Searching for the one

That won’t move,

Wiping me out.

 

This is a poem that I feel isn’t quite finished yet. But it’s appropriate to post because it’s where I am, shedding off the old, making way for new. But it’s not finished because I haven’t figured out what the new looks like – can’t write about it yet. I know the breaking down cracks and punctures the shell that I need to move beyond in order to be free. I’m just waiting to see what will hatch. I love how this emotional journey I’m on right now so closely coincides with the coming of spring. Coincidence…I think not.

What are some things you would like to shed this spring?

To let go

 

Letting Go

 

As the ocean lets go of the waves

Releasing them to the shore

We too must release control.

Fighting only wears us out.

Time comes in its own

Things happen as they will,

Action is necessary,

But beyond a point

No matter how hard you fight,

How much you push,

Life happens anyway.

In letting go we gain the most control,

Without attachment, or

Desire to be in control

We become one with

That which is in control.

Even that makes too little of a word

So complex and tricky

With so much attached.

Letting go we gain control,

Listen with your heart

You’ll understand the difference.

Realize that the greatest amount

Of control you’ll ever have

Is the choosing

To let go. 

Trusting in the world,

The universal energy and design

The control, which doesn’t seek control

Which is managed by free will.

Spin reality for a moment

Remember what we’ve always known

No control, is more control than power ever brought.

 

Letting go, of anything, of everything can be one of the hardest things and yet one of the most liberating. I’m always writing about things that are hard but worth it. And they are hard but not complicated. But I know for myself when I can let go of something – release an emotion that has been weighing me down – I feel so much lighter and more open. That is the time when miracles happen. Again it all comes back to trust. When I’m rock climbing I have to trust that the person belaying me won’t let me fall in order for me to let go of the rock. The same thing applies in any situation that requires letting go. You have to have an underlying trust that in letting go things will work out.

What do you need to let go of?

Waiting to remember

 

For waiting to Remember

 

Drowning in the meadow

Of broken dreams

Zippered pouches turned inside out

Show their deep desires

Held back by cotton hands.

Waiting for a swallow

To creep them to reality

From imagined waves of

Guilty dust.

The raindrops

Jump the leaves to splash

Upon the ground,

Waking up the dead,

Send sleeping heads to bed.

It’s the words I think I will remember

As I lay awake in bed

That toss around forgotten

For mornings, days on end.

Aimless wandering the rivers

Of my mind

Going over and over again

The feeling, the emotion

Those words had

So close I taste them in my mouth

Sweet with the newness of

A poem, story waiting to be read.

For waiting to remember

I get a sweet emotion

Turning bitter before the end

The words remain forgotten

While new ones take the place.

Do you remember what it feels like

To forget?

 

As a writer, I am always waiting to remember – it’s why I always carry a notebook with me. Words, stories, poems are always floating around my head – new ones crowding out any that have not been written down. But this sense of wanting to remember extends to more than just writing. I am always remembering things – errands, people I need to call, various daily responsibilities, who I really am. That’s a whole lot for a mind to hold. But sometimes it’s the things I forgot that mean the most. This poem is all about remembering, forgetting and letting go. What are you trying to remember?

My Wings

 

My Wings

 

Wind brushes my face

With love

From behind me.

A power grows,

I feel strength beating,

Coming out of my back.

Wings,

They have grown out of my

Shoulder blades.

They are brilliant

And huge,

I feel them expanding way out

As I open them to each side,

Bending, feeling like extra arms.

They shimmer and gleam in the light,

Colored a creamy white,

Speckled and dusted with hues of blue

Sliver sparkles shine, and

Yellow streaks run through.

They are beautiful

Powerful and light.

I can wrap myself up in their feathery glory

Like I’m in a cocoon of love.

I can stretch them up and reach them out,

And wrap the whole world in my love.

Without even thinking,

I know how to fly.

I look for the closest cliff,

With a running start I

Jump without hesitation

For flying, it’s in my blood,

 I was born knowing.

The beautiful thing about my special wings

Is I can take them in water,

And fly in the sea.

They are a brilliant and wonderful part of me.  

 

Yup, I have wings. When I remember they are there I feel so much better, so much lighter, so much more imaginative. I feel such a sense of power. I can feel connected to the energy of the birds that I see soaring above me. I can release and let go of all the things that hold me down and cause pain, even if only for a moment.  Everyone has wings, those things that make you feel like a super-hero. It is incredibly freeing to tap into your ‘wings.’  What are your wings?

Cool Air Kisses

 

Cool Air Kisses

 

In the silence of the evening

I sit, snuggled up with a blanket,

In a chair beneath the window

That looks out into the world.

A starless night,

Covered with gentle clouds,

Still leaves plenty of room

For my imagination to soar

With the moon

To far away places.

The cool night air finds

Its way to any inch of exposed skin

Tenderly kissing it goodnight.

The scent of a wood burning stove reaches

My nose,

Sending me back to the days

And nights in the woods.

Comfort and ease rise in my system as the taste

Smell and feel of the air

Transport me to another place

Another time.

Every muscle relaxes

As my whole body lets go

Releases all the stress and worry

Everything floats away.

All that is left is

The cool kisses of air on my skin,

The tree standing sentinel outside the window.

Utter peace and contentment as sleep

Takes over.

 

A wonderful way to end the week. Wrapped up in the beauty of an evening in communication with nature. Especially after all the stress and craziness of the holidays, a break is much needed. Just letting go and relaxing into the night can do wonders for a troubled mind. May you all have a wonderful evening like this to look forward to on this Friday.